As someone that has a project management certification from Villanova, I’m excellent with managing multiple projects at once, including juggling professional and personal projects, from short-form content to long-form passion projects, plus #momlife of a precocious six-year-old that’s an avid, advanced reader already wanting her own YouTube channel, and a teething six-month-old that desperately wants to walk before he can crawl, grabbing everything in sight and finally smacking me with the reality that I’m NOT Superwoman!
Ugh…(deep breath)…having a new baby has been hard.
To provide context, I’m not in my twenties or thirties. Fill in the blank, folks. I don’t wish to date myself here for some of you millennials, but let’s just say when millennial parents have their own kids, they may end up raving about the world-crazed K-Pop band – BTS. Oh…the boy band of the twenty-first century. Meanwhile, my first-grader’s favorite bands are Queen, Pink Floyd, and The Rolling Stones. However, she did love BTS’ Smooth Like Butter after we showed her the YouTube video.
Ahem…as someone who’s half-Korean, I have to admit that I really enjoyed their collaboration with Coldplay’s My Universe, and our daughter thought so, too.
Our kid is considered “wise for her age,” as so many have told us, and it seems to transcend her music preference. Don’t blame me. My husband loves classic rock and is constantly playing it in his car, but it obviously echoes the fact that our kid has… “mature” parents. I dare not call us geriatric. Needless to say, I had my son much later in age, which is becoming more of the norm (I tell myself this to make me feel better…lol.) My son is my rainbow miracle baby. I love him to death and would give my life up for him, but he’s a handful.
I discussed my experience a little in my previous article: When Crap Happens, Writing Through Trauma. But, my son was born six weeks early. So, we had a bit of a rough start with him. He was in the NICU for two grueling weeks. Now, he’s teething and going through his animalistic stage where he’s grabbing, pulling hair, drooling, gnawing on everything, throwing things on the ground, getting food all over his face, and wanting so desperately to walk. Screw the crawling! He came early and wants to do everything ahead of schedule, too. It’s cute. We might have another little genius on our hands—who knows. But as lovely and endearing as it is, it’s also a lot to deal with when juggling a career.
Gawd…honestly, I don’t remember it being this hard with our daughter!
I admit I’m not Superwoman. I can’t do it all without a little help, and I think it’s okay as women to acknowledge when we need an extra set of hands. That’s why I decided to enroll my son in a Montessori school for babies. My husband and I fell in love with the family-run daycare that operates out of their home. This will give us some much needed relief. We both worked remotely for a while. He does go into the office now, and I’m also prepared to. But, it’s been an adjustment for us all and as I’m currently now open to new professional career opportunities, knowing that my son is in good hands is so important.
As women, sometimes we’re expected to give up everything. We think that being a good mom means not having a career. Being a good wife means sacrificing ourselves and our identity. In fact, sacrificing our dreams is the worst parenting mistake, according to experts. You become a role model to your children when you prioritize your wellbeing, love yourself, show kindness to yourself, practice self-care, make no excuses, and instead, set out to achieve goals. When you practice self-care, you have more energy in your mental reserves to give back to your children and loved ones. You show your kids work ethics and that it’s great to have personal goals along with ambitions.
More On Why I’m Not Superwoman: Check out my brand new TikTok account @szestavillo.writer. #Bloggers, #Moms, #Writers, #Artists – #Follow & I’ll #Followback!
The Bottom Line
It’s alright to know our limits. Knowing our limits and managing our time is vital to success in our professional and personal lives. I put my son in daycare because it was the best decision for my family, career, personal writing goals, and overall capabilities in managing it all. It will also be an excellent opportunity for him to learn valuable socialization skills and other cognitive development. As I let go and embrace this decision, I remind myself and you should, too, that sometimes we need to weigh all of our options and determine how much our time is worth. It’s okay if we can’t do it all. In fact, taking the necessary steps to improve our situation is key to evolving into our very best.