Writing With Hope

Be Happy with Who You are and Who You are Not

Posted on July 23, 2014 Updated on July 23, 2014

Upon introspection have you discovered that there are things about your personality that you’d like to change? Has anyone tried to give you unsolicited advice on your character and how to improve it? They might say that you should smile more, speak softer or be more assertive. You might be told to stop interrupting people when they talk or that you’re too quiet and you need to speak up.

Regardless of what it is that bugs you about you, or bugs other people, we can always change and improve for the better. But, how much do you change and is it necessary to do a complete facelift on your personality?

There are plenty of people who mean well by offering up solid advice. But, sometimes the wrong input can leave you feeling, well, flawed. And we all certainly have flaws, so it’s up to us individually to determine what we believe is an acceptable change and what we feel you can live with. If there are people in your life who have provided you a list of your flaws that need fixing, maybe it’s time to decide if what they are saying holds any merit.

If you are not an extravert and you would like to work on being more social, then perhaps you can practice your social skills. You might want to role play with a friend that you trust and ask them how you did. It’s good to learn skills from those who have specific strengths in areas where you’d like to grow.

On the other hand, there comes a point in time when you have to face reality, especially when it comes to knowing who you are not. This is imperative in learning, for example, what job you’d like to have versus what job is simply not you. There are several personality tests you can take that will help you narrow down your interests and personality in order to better help you decide a career that would make you happy.

But understanding your own personality also helps in your personal life as well. You might find that certain personality types either rub you the right or wrong way. Consider the outtakes featuring “American Idol” contestants who shouldn’t have dared to audition in the first place. If you claim you are a singer because you’re parents or someone kept telling you how good you are, but in reality you can’t carry a tune, it’s probably best to face the fact that you’re not going to be winning a Grammy any time soon. In other words, stick to singing in the shower.

Of course there’s the cliché that says you can be anything you want to be as long as you put your mind to it. Well, this is true to a degree. If you hate science and no matter what you can’t pass any of the classes, then the chances that you’ll wind up being a medical doctor are very slim. You can always tweak your goals however. Instead of being the singer you can be the manager. Rather than practicing as a medical doctor you can always get a PhD in a field that interests you.

The Bottom Line

Know your strengths as well as your weaknesses. Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are rather than demand that you alter your personality in order to make them comfortable. Regardless, you’ve got to be true to yourself. Be happy with who you are, change what you feel needs to be improved, and most importantly accept who you are not.