It’s Not About You!

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Having a peace that surpasses human understanding is a challenge in almost any situation. There are natural human emotions that course through our bodies in response to professional or personal experiences. But, if you are unable to find peace, then you must examine the feelings inside you and decide for yourself what lesson you will learn.

On a personal level, we all hope that we are able to elevate ourselves above negativity. Instead, we strive to bring into our lives everything that’s good, that we know that we are abundant in every department, which makes up our universe and we lack no resources. While some of us exist with that deep knowledge within us, the reality might be to the contrary. In our professional lives we might have all the skills necessary to prove our competency, but one cannot force respect from others. Respect is “earned,” as some might say, yet even if it’s earned we still live in a world full of stubborn people who sometimes aren’t willing to respect you. It stops becoming about whether or not you “earned” respect and it starts becoming about someone else’s ignorance.

Especially in professional circles, I have found that some people will refuse to show any sort of respect for education, skills and competency regardless of what you do or how much you prove. The greatest lesson I have learned in how and why people treat you the way they do is that their behavior very rarely has anything to do with you. A person’s arrogance, entitlement and egoism — and let’s not forget the natural chip on one’s shoulder — is a reflection of whatever unresolved baggage they still lug around.

We hope for the best and prepare for the worst. We are in a “think positive” age when we are supposed to be able to manifest just about anything we want as long as we think it to be so. While, I am a firm believer in our ability to manifest abundance and good, and even rewire old patterns of defeating thoughts, behaviors, and actions. I am also a believer in finding balance somewhere between the overtly “just think positive” mentality and that of what truly is reality. Somewhere between fantastical delusion and reality lies the truth.

You can find what that truth is for you. But, no one will instinctively respect you even if you’ve earned it. Being optimistic helps regardless if you are actually abundant with all the resources you need to survive or not. It helps to have some sort of faith or hope in the abundance around you and the ability to be one with it. But, make no mistake that there will be moments of struggle, doubt, anger, fear, more doubt, and worry. It would be unnatural for us to be 100-percent, bouncy positive all of the time. We all hit our share of rough patches. Whether or not you admit to this is an entirely different topic. Denial is often a defense mechanism and it blocks you from the painful reality of what you don’t want to face.


The Bottom Line:

Finding peace isn’t always easy, just as being honest with yourself isn’t a task for the weak of heart. You can communicate the best that you can. You can do the best that you can. You can put 100 percent into everything that you do. You can be Superman or Superwoman and the very best at whatever it is that you do. Still, we all remain flawed humans surrounded by other flawed humans who judge and scrutinize. It doesn’t matter what you do or how awesome you might be — others may not accept, respect, like, trust, or value you, regardless of how saintly or perfect you may appear. The biggest relief is finding peace in any situation, regardless if it’s personal or professional and regardless of what type of situation it might be.

You can take a deep contemplative breath and then release it to the universe when you realize it’s not personal. Let me repeat: It’s very rarely ever about you. If you’re judged wrongly, it’s not about you. It’s about them. People come with their own set of circumstances, old patterns of thought and behavior and experiences. None of what others have experienced or the unchecked baggage they refuse to acknowledge or deal with is your fault. You can’t do anything about how others behave or how they see you, regardless of their skewed perspective. It’s been said a billion times but needs to be seared in our brains. We can only control ourselves. That’s it. Letting go of control and knowing it’s not personal. Another person’s distorted perspective is just that, distorted and their perspective. You don’t have to deal with their shit. Again, someone else’s shit is not about you. It’s their shit they need to learn to deal with.

Henry David Thoreau




2 thoughts on “It’s Not About You!

    Gina Kandil said:
    December 3, 2014 at 3:18 PM

    Love this, and I couldn’t agree more. It’s important that we find peace within ourselves, even if this is a pretty difficult task. I know It’s something I struggle with myself. Finding peace and also finding myself in general. It’s easy to want approval from all, but finding it within ourselves is what matters most of all.

    Liked by 1 person

    lilpickmeup said:
    December 3, 2014 at 5:23 PM

    Hey Gina, life is a journey and what I have found is that it takes several trial and error situations where we eventually learn how to comfort ourselves. I have learned and continue to remind myself to not take things personally. Especially when it’s someone else’s behavior you don’t agree with. We can’t control other people and what they do. 🙂


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