Writing With Hope

When In Doubt: DON’T!

Posted on May 7, 2014 Updated on May 7, 2014

When I had to make a decision to continue miserably living in -37 degree weather so far Upstate New York, that I was 30 minutes from Canada or move back to Cali— the decision was a “no brainer.” Sometimes life is a lot like this.

Major life decisions can often be found in two categories:

No Brainer: You have your mind made up on a decision. The answer seems so simple. Everything in your gut, heart, emotions is telling you that this is the absolute best course of action. The benefits are different for everyone, if the decision will ultimately make you happy in a monetary, emotional, or spiritual way; you know without a shadow of doubt what your decision is regardless.
Undecided: You’re not sure what to do. The list of pros and cons are tied. There are benefits that leave you thrilled in one area of your life, while another might suffer and the end result leaves you at a catch-22. You’ve spoken with loved ones, associates, and mentors— now you’re more confused then ever before. Time is ticking, a decision needs to be made and you are at your wits end filled with anxiety because you’re not sure.

With all major decisions, most wish that we could have a “no brainer” scenario. Where the light bulb clicks on, the answer is immediately recognized and we’re perfectly content with making a judgement call. It can be any of the following: a big move, the end of a relationship, beginning a relationship, cutting the chord on a business deal, a significant financial investment, going back to school, a complete career change, having a baby, or deciding never to have children. Small, medium, and large decisions should all have equal weight, all can majorly impact our lives. Where your kid attends school might be considered a small decision in your mind, but it could have big ramifications as to where your family will live, if you have to move, and if you can afford the zoning area your child’s school is located.

When making any decision, it’s important to recognize one important rule:

Rule To Live By #1: Never minimize any decision you make, treat every decision large or small with equal importance.

If you respect at all the law of cause and effect, you’ll understand that every action has an equal reaction. What we say, do, think ultimately has energy behind it. For example, saying negative things might be something small to you. But, negativity has a way of manifesting. Negative energy can affect your self esteem, behavior, attitude, performance, relationships, and what or who you attract into your life. Yes, all of this birthed from a single thought. What you say and how you speak to yourself can be considered a small enough thing to brush away. Unattended to, negative beliefs end up spreading to almost every area of your life. So, consider every decision that you make in your life important especially the way you think.

When making any decision, if undecided and unsure of the right course of action. You should be cognizant of the second most important rule:

Rule To Live By #2: Never ever say yes to a decision that you are uncertain about, no matter how many people try to persuade you otherwise.

Family, friends, and loved ones are not in your situation, in your body, living your life. You are the one that has to live with your decision, not them. Your family might also be affected by your decision as well. Of course if it is a resolve that involves your partner, kids, and family unit— the verdict must be unanimous. But if ultimately the final declaration affects only you and your life, then you have to be the one to make the call. Everyone else will go to sleep just fine at night. They’re not the ones that will be up with sleepless regret, remorse, and that “what did I just do” feeling.

When in doubt, don’t. It’s better to live with a decision you are certain about, then to regret for the rest of your life a decision you can never take back.