What Have You Done For Me Lately?

Posted on September 22, 2015 Updated on September 23, 2015

People want to be around winners. Politics is the prime example because people often are undecided about which candidate they will back until a “front runner” emerges. It can be the same with sports. There are the die-hard fans who bleed their teams colors and there are the fair-weather fans who wait to see which teams make the playoffs before they get really interested.

The latter, of course, are said to have jumped on the “Band Wagon” because they want to ride the coattails of a winner. That’s why successful athletes, business people, actors, politicians and musicians have entourages. There are no shortage of friends and family hanging around when there are good times to be had, but the true test is which ones will remain when the parties have ceased.

People come and go in your life, this is very true. Especially if you’re anything like me, someone who’s moved quite a bit throughout their lifetime. What’s interesting is how quickly people disappear or choose not to be a part of you network, who decline the invitation into your inner circle because they’ve found someone else who can do more for them. Truly sincere people can sometimes be hard to find, whether that be professionally or platonically. Because your success equates to social status and if they know you then it somehow makes them look good.

But what if you decide to throw in the towel? Opt out of the race? Maybe you were once an executive and now, well, you’re not. What if you no longer have the title and now you’re just…ordinary. What is more important than how people behave in regard to what you can do for them? Being true to yourself and having self-respect despite what you can or cannot offer others. You have to do for yourself, first. It’s not so much selfishness, as it is accepting where you are today. What if you are not a front-runner or a “winner” by society’s definition? What does that mean? How does that define you and what does that say about who you are? Does that make you a failure?

People are very shut off in the 21st century, more so now than ever before. Today, people are status oriented. They’ll likely befriend you on social media and professional sites such as LinkedIn, but aren’t willing to take the relationship further than is necessary to get to know you. Unless it benefits them somehow. It’s amazing how the more you accomplish, the more you put yourself “on the map” such as in a chosen profession, that suddenly those that couldn’t care less about you suddenly do. It’s like if someone wins the lottery. I know, I know…it’s an over used example, but a fitting one. Everyone comes out of the woodwork and they are your friend now or they are actually willing to be “nice” to you when you’ve won the proverbial “lottery.”

But if you aren’t a winner, if you don’t have the preferred social status, then it’s likely people aren’t willing to give you the time of day. It’s an unfortunate truth, one that’s quite shallow. We live in a world where we continually have to prove ourselves. And if we’re lucky enough to have one or two genuine people in our life that love us despite what we can do for them, we count ourselves lucky.

The Bottom Line:

Many people want a piece of you, especially if you are successful at your chosen profession and or talent. The people that fade from your life for superficial reasons are not worthy of your time, network, connection or friendship. It is a great place to be when you aren’t considered “somebody.” I like to continue to remind myself of this, because I feel that humility is invaluable. I’d rather be humble than to boast in arrogance to justify my social position. Humility is the key to stripping away the facade that titles provide. I’d rather say: I am ordinary and I am nobody special. I am okay with this.

Humility is not a handicap.