The Joy of Being vs. Doing
I need to keep busy and often. If I have too much time on my hands, then I feel like something is wrong and my day feels wasted. For many of us, what we don’t realize is that we’re filled with distractions, ones that can mostly be blamed on ourselves. We usually create distractions for ourselves because often times it’s better than facing what the silence might reveal to us.
For a very long time I needed to keep so busy that working 65-75 hours a week was not only tolerable, but eventually became the norm and the only thing that made me feel satisfied. Once you set a really high bar for yourself and you’re able to somewhat clear it, then nothing below this extraordinarily high standard computes to success. Why is it wrong to have out-of-this-world, ridiculous standards for yourself? Because it not only affects you, it becomes the standard you place on everyone else. It’s not always obvious that you are actually projecting your impossible standards on others because you’re doing so subconsciously. If you’re reflective enough you might catch yourself doing it, or if your fortunate enough a good friend will pull you aside to explain what you can’t see. Read the rest of this entry »
Can Goals and “To-Do” Lists Actually Lead to Self-Sabotage?
According to a LinkedIn survey, 11 percent of 6,500 professionals said they regularly complete their “to-do” lists. Meanwhile, less than two-thirds actually create a list in the first place. Do you use lists, and are they helpful? All this time, have we been led astray on how important of lists are to our success?
Entrepreneur, weightlifter and travel photographer James Clear writes how goals ultimately reduce the level of individual happiness because one winds up not feeling good about themself until or unless that goal is accomplished. Clear goes on to point out how goals can often become huge burdens. It makes total sense if you’re hard pressed to complete your to-do list and reach big goals rather than changing your perspective or process. It’s like dieting. I’ve often heard from people who have been fighting to lose weight that when they finally achieved their goal it wasn’t because they went on a diet. They stopped “dieting” and they changed how they ate instead.
Similar to what Clear explains in his article, the focus ought to be on the practice and not on the performance. When you’re goal oriented it truly does become about how much you do, how much you get done and how much you acquire in order to have to feel good about yourself. Your self-esteem and, often, mental health rides on items being checked off your list rather than on the actual accomplishment. Read the rest of this entry »