If you are searching for someone who has more then you, it won’t take you too long to find them. There is always someone who has everything that you’ve ever wanted, and then some. Pick a category: physical appearance, wealth, finances, the perfect mate, the perfect dream job— there are those that have checked off almost everything on their bucket list.
This is one issue that I have really worked to overcome, and I continue to catch my thoughts whenever they try to lead me towards that dangerous road down Comparison Lane. The most destructive and defeating behavior one can do is to compare themselves to others. Comparison can lead to depression faster than you can say, “I wish…”
It’s extremely unhealthy behavior because it kills your confidence and self esteem. Looking at what everyone else is doing eventually leads to envy and jealousy. Instead of being happy for them, we wish for their brand new car to crash or their new house to burst into flames. Jealousy can take on many forms and doesn’t necessarily need to pertain to relationships. One can be jealous of almost anything, so as long as it is what another has and you do not. It usually begins with a lacking feeling inside, leading to an absence of gratitude and finally a thirst for more.
Who doesn’t want to improve? We all want to grow as individuals, manifest more financial success and promote our quality of life. But remember that you can only affect what is in your control. The moment you start looking at what other people are doing, and what they have, your human nature will want to immediately compare yourself. When you focus on other people, you lose your own sense of purpose. The ambitions and aspirations and successes of others can even become a distraction.
Here are some ways to channel jealousy, envy and unhealthy comparisons:
- Instead of writing a generic list of things you are grateful for, write a list of things you have accomplished or things that you didn’t have a year ago.
- Try thinking of people in your life that have accomplished something or someone you’ve been meaning to congratulate on their new house, new family or new job. Try reaching out and genuinely being happy for them without motive. I just did this recently to someone in my past for his new family and home. I felt great afterwards.
- Remember that you first need to be whatever it is you wish to have. This is the way the universe works. If you want more love, you have to love. If you want blessings you have to bless others. By being happy for others, karma has a way of rewarding us. I really believe in karma. The more you wish ill on others, the more that negative energy will return to you
- Look at who and what you are envious. Be specific. If it’s a type of job, a house or to be thinner like someone else, then turn the envy into motivation. Let those that have what you desire be a source of inspiration and motivation rather than an anchor of unfair comparison tied around your neck, drowning you deeper and deeper into an abyss of despondency.
- Be realistic and set attainable steps that you know you can achieve within a realistic time frame. Remember to do what you can and what is within your control. If you are trying, that’s all that matters. As hard as that may seem, being tenacious yet patient will take you further then getting frustrated. Resist the temptation to quit on yourself.
It is counterproductive to release negative energy on those who have more than you. It’s counterproductive to compare ourselves when everyone’s circumstances are different. You can take steps towards reaching the objectives you have for your professional and personal life. Be happy for others and see how the doors of opportunity start opening up for you.