Tap Into Your Inner Salesman: Improving Personal & Professional Relationships

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Pushy SalesmanWhether you wear a uniform to work or not, most people regardless of their professions can blend in a crowd when off the clock. But no one can disguise a salesman. You can’t tell if someone is a doctor or a lawyer when wearing everyday gear, but put a salesman in a room and you can spot him in an instant. He’s likely the all-teeth grinning, TGIFriday-peppy, Type-A personality jabber who’s dominating the attention of the group surrounding him.

How does he do it? He remembers the details of the people he meets. This is necessary in order to establish a relationship with them because ultimately everything comes down to locking in a sale. This often involves long lunch meetings, dinners or cocktails after work at some snazzy, overpriced joint. Regardless, what ever it takes to close a sale that is what will be executed.

Salespeople are always closing deals; it’s in their nature to master the art of persuasion and to manipulate results in their favor. They are extraverted and have an unforgettable personality that always (well, usually) leaves the best impression.


Establishing a good rapport with anyone begins with developing a healthy relationship built on trust and respect. A good salesman has a firm grasp on communicating his thoughts, beliefs and perspective, yet taking a non-combative, diplomatic approach. He knows how to discuss any topic, gauging his audience, understanding their likes or tastes, and thus knowing how to deliver his speech. He knows in advance what will be appropriate or not for the given occasion, when to push the line and when to slow things up by being a tad more subtle. He’s no psychic; he’s just very observant, a good judge of character,and speaks fluent human body language.

istock_000010747171xsmallA good salesman will ask his customer how they are doing and can always find a way to make small talk. The more the client talks, the more he knows what they want and the more he learns. He knows how to ask the right questions and when. But the biggest and most important secret that he’s learned: Always make it about them.

istock-business-men-shaking-hands-one-black-one-whiteA good salesman can sell a bag of dirt to a gravedigger, able to exploit any given situation. This makes them great at asking the right questions and also great at active listening. They listen without interrupting the person speaking. They then ask follow up questions to clarify exactly what the person just said, or simply feigns interest to make the other person at ease, which often loosens their grip on their wallet.

When you see things through the eyes of a salesman, you think to yourself that the most imperative objective is to close a sale. What if you approached every single human being that crossed your path in this way? What if every relative — loved one, best friend, co-worker, customer, waiter — was all treated the same. What if you treated everyone with the excitement that one would have in potentially closing a big deal worth millions. What if there were millions of dollars on the line? How nice would you be to the person you are speaking to? How attentive to the details, to their desires, and goals you would be? How much attention would you give to every word they say? How much would their opinion matter?

Fresh ideas sign in the skyTheir suggestions, feelings, experiences, and point of view would hold immense amounts of importance if not only thousands, but millions of dollars were at stake. You would take great pride and care to ensure that their needs were met, their questions answered and their problems solved. Good salespeople, ultimately, are good bridge builders.

Are you a closer or are you content living in mediocrity, coasting through life okay with the status quo or even barely scraping by? If you want to experience abundance in your life, whether in friendship, love, finances, or opportunities, then consider a few rules that most sales people go by or at least those that I have personally known.

sunflowerListen more and talk less, making it about the other person and less about you.

Always refer to a person by their first name, look them in the eye and use active listening by rephrasing things they have said.

sunflowerAsk a lot of questions to paint a total picture of the person’s needs, desires and objectives.

If there are issues or problems, provide solutions by way of experience or refer them to an expert who can help.

sunflowerThink along the lines of symbiosis and how your partnership can be mutually beneficial.

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It isn’t necessary to be a salesperson in order to become successful in life, but one can indeed learn from the best sales traits. Remember, you can be abundant in your friendships and personal life as well as professional endeavors. You don’t even need to be fully interested in closing the deal as much as you are in sincerely being interested in others.

Selflessness always returns a reward to the selfless. Giving of yourself is a universal principle anyone can count on.

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