Relationships
It’s Not About You!
Having a peace that surpasses human understanding is a challenge in almost any situation. There are natural human emotions that course through our bodies in response to professional or personal experiences. But, if you are unable to find peace, then you must examine the feelings inside you and decide for yourself what lesson you will learn.
On a personal level, we all hope that we are able to elevate ourselves above negativity. Instead, we strive to bring into our lives everything that’s good, that we know that we are abundant in every department, which makes up our universe and we lack no resources. While some of us exist with that deep knowledge within us, the reality might be to the contrary. In our professional lives we might have all the skills necessary to prove our competency, but one cannot force respect from others. Respect is “earned,” as some might say, yet even if it’s earned we still live in a world full of stubborn people who sometimes aren’t willing to respect you. It stops becoming about whether or not you “earned” respect and it starts becoming about someone else’s ignorance.
Especially in professional circles, I have found that some people will refuse to show any sort of respect for education, skills and competency regardless of what you do or how much you prove. The greatest lesson I have learned in how and why people treat you the way they do is that their behavior very rarely has anything to do with you. A person’s arrogance, entitlement and egoism — and let’s not forget the natural chip on one’s shoulder — is a reflection of whatever unresolved baggage they still lug around. Read the rest of this entry »
Love is an Action, Not a Text Message
There is strong speculation that there are numerous ways love is demonstrated and expressed. There are also varying definitions for what love is based upon the individual, because love can often be very subjective.
According to the well-known self-help book The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, love can be expressed through words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. However, from my perspective all of these can be grouped into one simple category: action.
My experience in dealing with a dysfunctional, cold and emotionless family and the ups and downs of personal and romantic relationship tells me that everyone to some degree can relate to either giving too much love or not receiving enough. Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Chapman is correct that there are various ways you can express love, but the best way is through action.
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The Best Stress-Free Traveling Tip: Over-Prepare
Have you ever had a stress-free travel situation where everything just went absolutely perfect? I doubt that anything flows in perfect order, especially when it comes to traveling. I recently had to travel for a freelance gig and started at home attempting to gather my dogs before the work trip, only to find out that they both had fleas. Again. So, I had to get them both in the bath tub, wash them in special flea shampoo and then drop them off to relatives, that would watch them while I was gone. Then, I forgot where I left my car keys and I was scrambling to find them. Ugh.
The airport was sooo crowded as well and so was the airplane. I was stuck on a Southwest Airline flight that doesn’t assign seating. So, I ended up squeezed in a middle seat between two, let’s just say, very large people. In general, traveling can be really stressful. Unexpected situations and scenarios erupt unexpectedly. I didn’t expect my babies (my dogs) to suddenly have fleas. I didn’t expect to have to rush and get everything together at the last minute. Read the rest of this entry »
The Wounded Inner Child Part II: Snobbery, The New Prejudice
NOTE TO MY READERS: This article is unlike my others. Today, I decided to speak my mind and transparently write the truth, without walls. This article is based upon my observation of L.A. culture and my run-ins with countless individuals who seem to have unhealed childhood wounds.
I teach Film History part-time at the International School of Motion Pictures, a small but passionate school geared towards Japanese students highly interested in a film career. Yesterday, we decided to revisit Buffalo 66 because one of my students is highly interested in editing. Buffalo 66 has some great edited scenes, but the story reminds me of the inner wounded child that tends to be in all of us. Vincent Gallo reflects on his own childhood living in Buffalo, N.Y., as he wrote the screenplay inspired or at least influenced by childhood reflections.
The movie is one of my favorites for a number of reasons. It’s a very transparent look into the heart of a wounded child existing in a grown man. The unhealed wounds from our childhood are often unconscious and buried somewhere deep inside of us. It’s not always the case that he or she gets triggered, though, we are lucky if we have an opportunity to confront our inner wounded selves. And, yes, I do say lucky because as bad as it may hurt; we can only grow by discovering that there might be parts of our childhood that we still need to confront and heal. Read the rest of this entry »
Falling in Love Versus Growing in Love
Do you remember falling in love for the first time? Recall how quickly the feeling intoxicated you, basking in the sheer new glow that your new love showered over you. It’s as if the sky was suddenly bluer, the grass and the trees were greener, and flowers more lush. Everything around you seemed to come alive with more vibrance than ever before.
It’s like you took some sort of drug; you felt so high on life. As a matter of fact, according to Psychology Today, falling in love is a lot like smoking crack cocaine! Research conducted by anthropologist and relationship researcher, Dr. Helen Fisher found some outstanding results in her illuminating studies on how love affects our brain chemistry. According to her findings, feelings of love elicit exceptionally high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine, which are the same chemical compounds activated during a cocaine-induced high. There is a clear euphoric effect both drugs and being in love exhibits in our bodies, as our bodies know very little the difference between an illegal substance and falling for your “one and only.” The stimulation is said to sharpen focus and allows one to feel as if they can conquer the world, do anything, and be anything. Read the rest of this entry »
Writing With Hope 