It’s Not About the WHY, But the WHAT
You have a friend who has a lead foot. The dude’s always speeding. He’s gone 45 in a 15 MPH school zone with kids crossing but has never been caught, never even been honked at or yelled at by a fearful parent. He’s never going slower than 80 mph on the freeway. During lunch he brags about how his car insurance just went down again after receiving another good driver’s discount! He parks illegally in disabled spots for hours at a time, never pays for the meters cause he doesn’t carry around quarters and rarely obeys any traffic laws. This lucky SOB has never once been pulled over for a ticket and never has been in a crash. He’s even driven inebriated numerous times coming home from all sorts of parties and not once has he been pulled over.
Meanwhile, you go 30 in a 25 and a cop pulls you over. He slaps you with a ticket even though you protest that it was “only 30.” On yet another day, you’ve filled up the meter thinking to yourself you are not about to get another stupid ticket. You are walking back to your car, not even a minute goes by past the allotted amount that you paid for and the nerdy security dude in his little meter car is right there, giving you a ticket. You protest that it was just past one minute and you’re moving your vehicle right now. The dude puffs out his chest and says you are giving him lip, that if you continue he might have to get you for disobeying an officer of the law. Now you’re really pissed.
“What are you going to do?” you protest. “You can’t arrest me cause I disagree with this bogus ticket!”
Oh, but he wants to and can. You fight the urge to make fun of his job, the way he is acting all tough. He probably failed the police academy, or wasn’t accepted in the first place, and now he can execute a little power over someone else, role playing like he’s a real cop. You bite your tongue and take the ticket.
The first question you ask is “why me?” It’s just not fair. Situations like this are inevitable, and there are countless examples. Many smokers take up the habit in their teens and live well into their 80s or 90s and never get cancer. Meanwhile a healthy non-smoker dies in his early 50s from lung cancer. He never smoked a day in his life. Go figure. It’s like that Ironic song, by Alanis Morissette, depicting how things just happen in the most bizarre twist of fate.
There are people who seem to win every radio sweepstakes, random drawing or are a finalist if not the winner in every competition they enter. From a triathlon to a baking contest, you name it, they’ve won it. Then there are others who have tried and tried and tried only to come up short. Call it irony, bad luck or simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Sometimes we’re given multiple chances to fail in order to learn how to succeed. We need the failures in order to build endurance. We need the low moments in order to appreciate the good. We need to know what pain feels like emotionally, psychologically financially and physically in order to build up our tolerance, backbone and to thicken our skin.
We are being shaped through our trials and tribulations. We are being molded like clay into the person who we are meant to be. If it wasn’t for the difficulties we face daily, we would not be the person we are. And while, yes, the person you are today is flawed and could use an adjustment there is a lot of good that has come from the pitfalls.
Some people make everything look easy. But, behind closed doors, you and I both do not know what kinds of challenges they face on a day by day basis. What comes easy to them might not come easy to you. But, on the other hand, what comes easy to you might not come so easy for them. This is why we have friends and family that all have unique personalities. We can learn from their strengths just like they can learn from ours. Weaknesses are what balance each other out. That’s the beauty of an array of relationships we build daily.
You can’t ask about the why, instead, focus on the what.
What will you do now?
What steps need to come next and can be done immediately?
What person or people do you need to speak with?
What is your vision?
What is your aim and ultimate goal?
What are you clear about?
What do you want to avoid doing in the future?
What would you like to change?
What time are you going to start?
What are the final results you want to see happen?
Don’t worry about the “why.” The situation already happened. It’s time to take charge, become more pro-active and start asking the “what” questions.
When it doesn’t hurt, when it’s easy and when there are no obstacles you aren’t fully challenging yourself and you’re not truly living either. Those who fail take chances in life, for without failure there is no success. To win you need to place yourself in the game and on the road to success. Along the way you’ll learn more about you then you ever thought possible. That journey toward victory is what life is really about, not so much the prize.
Writing With Hope 