This post isn’t about forgiving someone who is currently in your life. It’s specifically about forgiving people you no longer have contact with.
It’s easy to be happy for a friend or a loved one, or anyone who has been supportive and caring towards you. But, can you be happy for someone who has hurt you? Can you be happy for those who still haunt your soul?
How many ghosts do you have? I have a few that haunt me. They linger around whenever I am trying to live in the present, until they’ve successfully dragged me back into the land of the past.
Don’t believe in ghosts, you say? Think not of literal goblins but instead of the premise behind lost spirits and why they still wander the earth. Something about their life, or death, remains unsettled. Maybe they died tragically, or something happened to them that caused unresolved strife. At the core of what is troubling these spirits is pain. My personal ghosts, when honestly confronted, are people who have deeply and emotionally hurt me.
Some wounds take longer to heal because we can’t seem to stop picking at the scabs. But, what’s worse than not being able to be happy for people who have potentially scarred us is the hardening that takes place in our soul. Unforgiveness mostly hurts you and me. When those that have hurt us are no longer in our lives (deceased or alive), not being able to forgive means not being able to let go. You might be able to push it out of your mind, bury yourself in work, alcohol, technology, or pick your method of addiction because anything can become a type of drug. Our ghosts will continue to haunt us so as long as we aren’t able to do two things: Bless those that have hurt us and then forgive them.
The Bottom Line:
I admit that I have ghosts that still haunt me. The first step is to acknowledge that you’re being haunted by your past and that you’re still in pain. We all grieve in different ways; some of us remain stuck and rather than work on exorcising our demons instead continually breathe new life into them. If you want to be happy, be happy specifically for people who have really hurt you. Be happy for them. Release their spirits that cloak you like a dark cloud choking all the joy out of our life. Forgive the people who have caused you enormous pain and suffering. Doing so will free you from your bondage. You’ve survived and now you can move on. You can finally begin the unfettered walk toward happiness.