Dear Oddball: Be Different. Be Unique. Be You.

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be-differentI have always been drawn to “different” because I never felt like I fit any traditional mold. From my ethnicity, to my ambitions, to the way I was raised, I’ve never felt like I truly fit in anywhere. Perhaps, at times, I’m socially awkward for the reasons of knowing I am not like anybody else.

There is a part of me that understands my passion and creativity also has made me vulnerable to depression. What comes easy to others takes second-by-second management for me to feel somewhat normal. I micromanage my thoughts because, if I don’t, I can find myself swept up in negative emotions. Before I know, it I’m down in the dumps.

I’m the first to admit that I haven’t mastered the ability to stop the downward spiral. I haven’t won over my mind. Unless you’re the Dalai Lama, not many have. In order to be at peace with who you are, you have to not only be okay with what makes you different but actually embrace and own it.

Society tries to force us into certain molds its dictates. If you’re X, then you must behave like Y. But, there’s a movement taking place now where many have grown sick of the status quo. We’re tired of the shallow, all surface, PC culture that leaves a bitter lack of authenticity feeling in the gut. There’s a movement to embrace uniqueness because the template that we must adhere to no longer works for our true nature. Some of us are tired of what feels manufactured. I crave being real. I gravitate towards unique. I want it raw and in my face. I don’t want the PC manufactured fakeness.

Different makes the status quo uncomfortable because many humans want to remain in their little boxes. Having to think and live outside of comfort zones scares people. We are creatures of habit and routine. It’s almost as if some would rather be lied to because it’s better than the ugly truth, which not many of can handle. Not many people can handle unique because it’s we have been conditioned to be scared of differences.

If you’re different, rather than fight it, strut it. Don’t force yourself into the mold that society wishes for you. And yes, being different will mean you will likely face backlash. Most people who are “different” go through the turmoil of comparing themselves to the typical societal mold. The cookie cutter example of how and what someone should be, should look like, should behave, should do for work, should have in the bank account. The number of kids they should have, the car they should drive, and the home they should live in. It’s endless how many “typicals” we the “bizarre” can compare ourselves to and as a result plummet into misery. Here’s the actual truth.

The Bottom Line:

You have to love yourself enough to be yourself, even if other people label you as crazy. Embrace your insanity, if indeed that’s been the label people have stamped on you, because, if you don’t, the only person who truly suffers is you. I know because I’ve lived most of my life fighting myself, trying to fit into what others wished me to be, only to find myself at the lowest points of despair as a result. Lots of people want to sit around talking about the weather. They surround themselves with the status quo, while any trailblazer that sticks out of the crowd is shunned.

Your depth might repulse some, while the people who love you can’t get enough of your many dimensions. Ultimately, you have to be yourself because you’re the only person who’s best at being you. Love yourself, because if you don’t know one else truly can, either. Surround yourself with people who dig you just as you are and celebrate your intricacies. Rather than consider your quirks imperfections, they find them to be perfect just as they are. They think you’re funny, not stupid. They think you’re eccentric and encourage more of your uniqueness. You are different and so am I. Unique isn’t a bad thing. Instead, it’s beautiful.



6 thoughts on “Dear Oddball: Be Different. Be Unique. Be You.

    macabeliam said:
    October 14, 2016 at 2:43 PM

    Fantastic, I can’t agree with you more. Being different is necessary or we’d all be the same boring clone. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

      Sonyo Estavillo said:
      October 14, 2016 at 2:51 PM

      Yes, I’m an oddball and since this discovery I’ve learned to embrace my uniqueness. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    Maya Morrow said:
    February 13, 2017 at 7:58 AM

    Wow. I can relate to every word of this post. You are extremely gifted and insightful. I hope you will write a book on this topic. You’d be helping so many people and it would likely be a best-seller. Tell your truth! We are with you! Oddballs and misfits unite!

    Liked by 1 person

      Sonyo Estavillo said:
      February 13, 2017 at 8:22 AM

      Ha ha…maybe I will. I’ve always been different and never felt like I fit in anywhere. I still feel that way. 🙂


    Maya Morrow said:
    February 13, 2017 at 9:26 AM

    I just read this and thought you might like it. It’s got a lot of links, so I just read through it all without clicking any of them. I found the link on one of Jane Friedman’s posts. Definitely a lot of good suggestions here for writers. I seriously think the subject matter of this post may just be part of your calling.
    279 Days to Overnight Success: An Unconventional Journey to Full-time Writing:

    Click to access 279days.pdf

    Liked by 1 person

      Sonyo Estavillo said:
      February 13, 2017 at 9:38 AM

      This is good stuff, I’ll have to read through it. Yes, I’m trying to monetize my blogs. I have 3 currently and 2 novels being edited. 🙂 I already had 2 agents at a writer’s conference ask me if I would ever consider writing a parenting book (one of my blogs is on parenting). I never thought to write a parenting book because, what makes me the expert at “motherhood.” You know? But, I guess I should be open to anything. 🙂


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