Don’t Talk About It, Be About It

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We’re in the age of sharing…everything. Whether it’s checking in to Yelp to report what we’ve eaten for lunch to posting our sweaty workout pictures on Instagram just to show off our abs. After all, we worked hard on them, didn’t we?

Oversharing is more than what we post on our social media platforms. Have you ever been in a situation where you’re compelled to discuss your project or goals? Sometimes people feel that by sharing, we are holding ourselves accountable. But, I think there is strength in working hard in silence instead of boasting to anyone willing to listen. There isn’t anything wrong with taking pride in our work. There isn’t anything wrong with sharing our success stories or opening up about our daily lives with the world. Many influencers, content creators, and celebrities out there do just that. In fact, that’s how some creators make money by sharing their every waking second of success or failures with hungry fans.

Certain platforms, such as Twitter, even reward you for tweeting a certain number of tweets per month. If you get enough fans and share enough interesting tweets, then you can try and monetize your Twitter account. How? By providing content to Super Followers who will then pay a monthly $4.99 fee to follow you for bonus content, membership perks, and more. While I guess I recently met the criteria to monetize my account, I opted out. I don’t like the pressure of asking my followers to pay money monthly just to follow me. My main concern is that by doing this I can potentially lose followers. Anyway, the point is that every social platform functions and thrives off of people sharing everything about their lives. We’re living in the age of oversharing, where we all live in glass houses that the outside world can easily see.

There is no need for privacy when everyone is essentially rewarded for being bold, transparent, and willing to share, share, share. However, a sense of strength is lost when you expose your goals instead of keeping them under wraps until you actually complete them. It’s almost worse to tell everyone your goals and personal plans too soon. It’s like you end up jinxing yourself when everything falls through the cracks. In my opinion, it’s much better not to talk about what you’re going to do. It’s a heck of a lot stronger to simply be about it and like Nike always says—just do it!

When you find yourself wanting to brag, ask yourself why? Are you lacking in self-esteem that you feel bringing up goals, projects, accomplishments to others will make you feel better about yourself? Is it validation you’re looking for? Do you secretly crave for other people to give you permission or encouragement to start a project or complete a goal? Is it possible you can learn to validate yourself instead of looking to external sources for it?


The Bottom Line

You give away time and energy talking too much about what it is you want to do, what you’re going to accomplish or go on about your big dreams. There’s a time and place for sharing. But then there’s a time and place to simply shut down that need to overshare and let our actions do the talking. It’s like what every writer is told: show, don’t tell. Success is also about showing instead of telling. It’s easy to play up your status in life, as many do on social media. It’s easy to act “as if” until you get to where you want to be.

Even Beyonce is a big proponent of keeping her personal goals close to her vest, according to an “Insider” article. She never shares her personal goals with family or friends. The article makes a good point that many people wouldn’t want to broadcast every failure, so why the need to broadcast every success? It not only puts you in the habit of one-upping people in your life, but a boastful attitude becomes a turn-off very quickly. If you feel the need to tell someone or do a little bragging, try keeping a brag-journal where you can list your accomplishments for days you need to feel more confident. It’s much stronger walking the walk instead of talking up a big game only for most of what you say to be a façade.

Keeping quiet about your goals doesn’t mean you’re not getting them done. It simply means that you don’t have the desire to tell everyone about it. Keeping your goals on the DL (down low) also helps to keep us working hard and staying humble while doing it. Winning at life is more than the act of beating our opponents. It’s about knowing how to win with grace, dignity, and a little humility.


22 thoughts on “Don’t Talk About It, Be About It

    macabeliam said:
    February 9, 2022 at 1:08 PM

    This is very true. Actions always speak so much louder than any words.

    Liked by 1 person

    jennylynnangelo said:
    February 9, 2022 at 1:19 PM

    I can understand the need to talk about goals if you are trying to hold yourself accountable. But I do know of people that do it way too often. They spend too much time talking and less doing. I think at some point you have to learn to be your own cheerleader and take on the task of holding yourself accountable without having the need to rely on other people for it. Great post! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

      S.Z. Estavillo responded:
      February 9, 2022 at 1:22 PM

      I agree and you said it well. We can’t rely on outside sources for validation, permission, or motivation to start our goals. We have to just buckle down and use our energy more toward completing tasks vs. talking about them. Thanks for reading and commenting Jenny. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

        jennylynnangelo said:
        February 9, 2022 at 1:25 PM

        And it’s also interesting that you linked to that other article. I read it and thought that it was smart of Beyonce to keep her goals private. There is power and quiet strength in doing so!

        Liked by 1 person

        S.Z. Estavillo responded:
        February 9, 2022 at 1:26 PM

        I thought Beyonce was smart too and it made me more motivated to work hard in silence. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        jennylynnangelo said:
        February 9, 2022 at 1:27 PM

        Ha ha ha…me to! 🙌🏽

        Liked by 1 person

    chrisr74 said:
    February 9, 2022 at 9:10 PM

    We all know people who talk incessantly about something that is in the works, only to never hear anything about it again. Some of us can even be guilty of it. Like many things in life, I think it takes practice and sustained winning to learn how to hold back details from friends, family and coworkers about things that don’t exist yet. We can get understandably excited and want to share. But if it doesn’t come to fruition, what’s the point? It is much better to let your wins speak for themselves. Otherwise it comes across as preemptive bragging that can really backfire in the bragger’s face.

    Liked by 1 person

      S.Z. Estavillo responded:
      February 9, 2022 at 9:25 PM

      So very true, Chris! You make a valid point that we can all be guilty of getting excited over things. It certainly does take practice to hold back unnecessary details and wait until a project is complete before mentioning anything.

      Like

    Yeah, Another Blogger said:
    February 10, 2022 at 5:37 AM

    Beyonce ” . . . never shares her personal goals with family or friends.” — I doubt that this is true. If a person doesn’t confide in close family members and close friends, then they don’t have strong relationships. Hello there. Take care. Neil S.

    Liked by 1 person

      S.Z. Estavillo responded:
      February 10, 2022 at 7:56 AM

      I’m going off what the article said about Beyonce and how she handles goals. I obviously do not know her personally. It really is a personal decision in terms of how much you choose to share with people. I respectfully disagree with you. I think you can have strong relationships and choose to keep certain goals private until you achieve them. Thanks for stopping by.

      Liked by 2 people

    stephaniechongmin said:
    February 10, 2022 at 8:48 AM

    I have lots of close friends and family and I do not like to share big goals cause I feel like if I share too much I end up jinxing myself. I do get excited when I can finally reveal my hard when said project is completed. Good post!

    Liked by 1 person

      S.Z. Estavillo responded:
      February 10, 2022 at 8:50 AM

      That’s how I do it, too. I prefer to share once something is solid as in done, complete,and “in the bank” – so to speak. Thanks for stopping by and reading Steph, always a pleasure.

      Liked by 1 person

    shaksation said:
    February 24, 2022 at 9:39 AM

    Hello, I really like this post and your blog. You are most welcome to check out my blog and find something for yourself to like 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    johncoyote said:
    March 8, 2022 at 11:26 AM

    I had a old Sgt. Major. He would tell us soldiers. Don’t tell me what you did, tell me what you will do. I liked the logic of your words dear friend.

    Liked by 1 person

      S.Z. Estavillo responded:
      March 8, 2022 at 11:45 AM

      Thanks John for reading. It’s true that our actions speak much louder than our words.

      Liked by 1 person

        johncoyote said:
        March 8, 2022 at 11:48 AM

        You are right my dear friend. What we do today is important.

        Liked by 1 person

    Tom said:
    March 23, 2022 at 11:50 AM

    Very true what you’ve explained here! It’s so much better to let your accomplishments speak for themselves, rather than constantly brag to people about future lofty goals that never truly come to fruition. Quiet understated self-confidence is such an important life skill to improve 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      S.Z. Estavillo responded:
      March 23, 2022 at 1:06 PM

      Indeed quiet confidence can go a long way. We often don’t realize how we might sound or come across to others when we do overshare. Sometimes it’s best to remain humble about things. That doesn’t mean we’re not proud of what we’ve accomplished, but that we’ve mastered emotional intelligence. Thanks for reading, Tom!

      Liked by 1 person

        Tom said:
        March 23, 2022 at 1:11 PM

        Well said! 🙂 It’s certainly helped me as a budding writer – keeping my target audience small but tailoring my stories so they’ll keep enjoying them – once you try to please everyone en masse, you’ll never please anyone in particular.

        Liked by 1 person

    Amit Misra said:
    May 3, 2022 at 9:44 PM

    What a wonderful post!

    It is something like: talking about one’s goals or projects with others, esp. uninterested people, does dilute one’s own passion, enthusiasm and ‘steam’.

    Liked by 1 person

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