Self Help
The Joy of Being vs. Doing
I need to keep busy and often. If I have too much time on my hands, then I feel like something is wrong and my day feels wasted. For many of us, what we don’t realize is that we’re filled with distractions, ones that can mostly be blamed on ourselves. We usually create distractions for ourselves because often times it’s better than facing what the silence might reveal to us.
For a very long time I needed to keep so busy that working 65-75 hours a week was not only tolerable, but eventually became the norm and the only thing that made me feel satisfied. Once you set a really high bar for yourself and you’re able to somewhat clear it, then nothing below this extraordinarily high standard computes to success. Why is it wrong to have out-of-this-world, ridiculous standards for yourself? Because it not only affects you, it becomes the standard you place on everyone else. It’s not always obvious that you are actually projecting your impossible standards on others because you’re doing so subconsciously. If you’re reflective enough you might catch yourself doing it, or if your fortunate enough a good friend will pull you aside to explain what you can’t see. Read the rest of this entry »
Think-Change: Five Things to Stop Doing to Create a Better You
Did you know that scientific research found that the brain doesn’t fully develop – especially your prefrontal cortex, the problem solving part of your brain – until your mid-20s?
However, a neuroscientist Sarah-Jayne Blakemore at the Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience at University College, London explained in a 2010 PhysOrg.com article that the brain continues to change shape well into your 30s and 40s. In fact, the prefrontal cortex of our brain takes the longest to develop and is the key area in charge of high cognitive functions: planning, decision making, social behavior, social awareness, emotional intelligence, and various personality traits.
So, when we are told to “grow up” and “get with the program” or “stop being so immature,” technically we can blame it on our brain development or lack there of. What does this have to do with the direction of our lives, especially now that we’re in the New Year and everyone is claiming 2015 as a better year for them? Everything. Read the rest of this entry »
The Power of Surrender
Surrender seems like an ethereal concept, one that takes more than power of will to remove the ego and to just let go. When stubbornness gets in the way of true change, we find that we’re stuck with old software uploaded into the most complex computer on earth — our brains.
We desire to improve but are often in the way of our own progress because unconsciously we continue to trigger emotions that reinforce negative childhood experiences, hold onto outdated beliefs and recreate negative behaviors, those of which we were taught long ago. We haven’t found a way to uninstall the old software and reprogram our brain with new, improved and healthier software that we’ve personally designed. It is not based upon forced ideals from circumstances, environment or society.
If we could only comprehend how much power we have over the results we wish to see in our lives, we’d stop doubting our capabilities and value the power we hold within us. It goes way beyond the overused concept of “self-esteem” and having “self confidence.” Plenty of successful people have confidence, but they lack the capability to expand outside of their box and welcome change regardless of how flawless their lives appear to be or what they’ve gained externally and the versions of themselves that they flaunt. Everyone today can create a social media profile, one that allows for a perfectly catered exterior and tastefully chosen posts in order to boast and throw up the illusion of an unblemished life. Read the rest of this entry »
Life Transition? Reinvent Yourself!
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According to a Huffington Post article, 55 percent of American women polled by PayPal explained that they are entrepreneurs because they seek a healthier work-life balance. Meanwhile, 47 percent of women said that passion for their career was their strongest motivation. For me, both passion and obtaining a work-life balance (quality family time) is extremely important. This is why I strive to keep an open mind when it comes to expanding my self-employment opportunities.
Risk is risk no matter the career. But it’s especially risky as competition increases, such as in a creative field, and takes even more guts. I had an exciting opportunity to work with a friend from undergraduate film school. She was at a transitional period in her career when, after getting sick, she took time off. In doing so, she found the time to pursue another creative venture. The next thing she knew, a hobby turned into a new business – her own fashion line.
The Bottom Line:
I enjoyed the opportunity to film and edit this video. Working in the creative field isn’t easy but can also be extremely rewarding. As I stated in a previous article, you have to think outside of the box and produce your own opportunity in a creative world. It’s great if you have contacts, connections and “peeps” to open doors for you. If you’re applying for jobs, that’s great. Keep at it. But in the meantime, if the doors aren’t opening immediately, then why rely on others to give you the opportunity that you can otherwise create for yourself?
Can Goals and “To-Do” Lists Actually Lead to Self-Sabotage?
According to a LinkedIn survey, 11 percent of 6,500 professionals said they regularly complete their “to-do” lists. Meanwhile, less than two-thirds actually create a list in the first place. Do you use lists, and are they helpful? All this time, have we been led astray on how important of lists are to our success?
Entrepreneur, weightlifter and travel photographer James Clear writes how goals ultimately reduce the level of individual happiness because one winds up not feeling good about themself until or unless that goal is accomplished. Clear goes on to point out how goals can often become huge burdens. It makes total sense if you’re hard pressed to complete your to-do list and reach big goals rather than changing your perspective or process. It’s like dieting. I’ve often heard from people who have been fighting to lose weight that when they finally achieved their goal it wasn’t because they went on a diet. They stopped “dieting” and they changed how they ate instead.
Similar to what Clear explains in his article, the focus ought to be on the practice and not on the performance. When you’re goal oriented it truly does become about how much you do, how much you get done and how much you acquire in order to have to feel good about yourself. Your self-esteem and, often, mental health rides on items being checked off your list rather than on the actual accomplishment. Read the rest of this entry »
Writing With Hope 